“There’s something happening here
What it is ain’t exactly clear…”
~ Buffalo Springfield
“All except the shallowest living involves tearing up one rough draft after another.”
~ Msgr. John Sullivan
“Do not call to mind the former things; pay no attention to things of old. Behold, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert…I provide water in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert, to give drink to My chosen people.” Isaiah 43:18-20, Berean Study Bible
Today I feel God kindling the dry bones in my spirit. I wept through church on Sunday, continued weeping as I listened to a testimony this morning…and tonight I feel God moving pieces around, drawing lines to connect dots. It’s frightening to hope, to dream…but, “courage is fear that has said it’s prayers” (author unknown).
I consider myself a devout woman of Christian faith…yet I get dragged through mud of self-condemnation, doubt; run ragged, with well-intentioned efforts to draw near to God, and do good to others. But today was DIFFERENT. Maybe all the tears, exhaustion, desperation we go through scours the atmosphere so we can hear the Lord more distinctly…for indeed, I could hear Him today.
And yes, I was amused anew by His use of widely various sources, when conversing with us. First, came my post about neighbor Colton.
Second, He reminded me of a favorite Bible verse in Isaiah 43…God’s announcement that He’s doing something new!
Third, crazy as it seems to this non-hippie-type woman, those opening lines from the Buffalo Springfield song—which speak to the sense of wonder that “something IS happening”; and affirmed for me, suddenly, that it’s okay to not clearly comprehend what the something is.
Faith, a magical mystery adventure for those who believe; sometimes we get crystalline, certain direction…God’s voice is loud, unmistakable. But most of the time, for me, the reception is fuzzy…I long to put tinfoil on my antenna, tune in better. “Blind faith”, the kind which accepts the reality that we see through a glass darkly*, dim…and keeps us moving forward because we know Who waits ahead, while also walking beside us; trusting God to fulfill His promises for that “good future” Jeremiah** spoke about.
And lastly, the quote from Monsignor John Sullivan, about tearing up multiple rough drafts…which I’d scheduled for posting on May 2nd, but it echoed God’s loving voice in this moment: “you’re alright, I AM here—stop beating yourself up because you need to start over, and over, and over”. WOW.
That’s all I’ll share for now…color me quietly excited, hugely grateful 🙂
©Leyda Bien, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.
*1st Corinth 13:12
Bible verses: biblehub.com